tales of a broken hearted robot....

"Love born from a Sword" (finish later)

2005-09-20T09:51:19Z

The lands of the East had only known chaos. Warlords, demons, witches and warlocks were spread every where arcoss the land. Only a handfull of clans still stood for a greater good. The legends of heros and spirits of good seemed to be told less and less do to the simple fact that those who knew them were either dead or did not believe them any more. now these heros would need to gather their strength together for a new evil was making it way to the lands of the east. it will take the lands greatest to stand up to the coming evil....but there is one who does not know his path. there is one who must believe in his destiny....and become the greatest of all warriors to grasp a sword.

I'm a scum bag...

2005-08-28T11:13:37Z

its how one minute we cannot wait to talk to those we meet online...and then one minute later you cannot find the time to get on line for more than a few seconds. sooooooo for all those I've met on livejournal..I sooooo want you to know I totally think of you guys and gals all the time....I'm so working on getting online more...

kissy kats to you all

Ryuu

the return of the Ryuu

2005-03-21T05:00:07Z

it has been sometime since I have been here thats for sure....lots has happened ...but most of us come to live journal to write out our hearts about something...I know I am that way...sometimes when I just cannot yell it out or shed a tear for it...I find myself writting it out on a piece of paper or whatever...for those who don't know..I had a split with someone who I found myself to be very head of heels for...but..you know how you can see it coming and just choose to not see it...and then it hits you in the face like a lightning bolt and your confused on why the other person wants to break it off. Thats where I am....she called today the first time since we split it up..and she asked me if I hate her..(by the way..her way of telling me we were done was telling me she "made out with some other guy" which I found to be totally heinous) and I wanted to say yes...I was wainting for the chance too...but the words out of my mouth were no....I could feel my eyes roll back as I slapped myself in the forehead trying to figure out why the hell I would say no. She put it so nicely to say that she just wanted to have fun...and I was not the kind of fun she was looking for...who is this girl...where is that girl I remember meeting for the first time and she was so sweet...a witty bastard..but sweet nonetheless....I guess she was dead along with our relationship....man...so here I am...trying to get it off my chest since i was to much of a coward to say anything to her....crap I suck...

bleh bleh bleh

2004-11-27T03:51:08Z

lets see..well...I do not really remember the last time I put anything up and I'm way to lazy to just click a button and look so oh well. things in my life..hmm..well there the same... I don't really go out anymore because its boring..and my little sis is driving me nuts...so no I am a hermit that stays in my room. everyone once and awhile I'll paint something or write something..but all in all..its bleh bleh bleh...girls out here are sooo ughhh...and guys are just as ughhh..making new friends is like a lost cause....no one wants to sk8 or paint or do anything fun...hanging out in a parking lot is not my idea of a good time...if I'm going to do nothing I would rather do it at home...me and malia or on a break...and we all know what that means...well I think I have said enough....drama for your mama...take it easy to all out there...

keep the path positive..

blah blah...

2004-11-15T10:47:41Z

okay okay..so I have not been really good on the up-keep of my live journal updates..that is something I know I have not been doing. so sorry for that and because of that I never talk to anyone I use to on live journal anymore...and my fav person of all christie..sorry...but if it makes you feel any better..I have a cold...

-make sure the juice is worth the squeeze-

grrrrr.....

2004-11-08T07:06:05Z

today was actually a weird day...my nan is sick...she has about 2 months..it kinda sucks...but then out of now where brendan asked me if I could paint the record store.. I was like "what color"...he was like " no stupid..I want you to tag it..do some graffitti!"...so I went brought a cooler and a pack of smokes and went to work...I had forgot how much I liked to paint or do anything art oriented...everyone still bugs me to play music but I don't do music anymore...oh well on that huh...but I must say...if another person asks me to play guitar again I'm gonna go nuts...anyway back on track...its been nice keeping to myself...not going out and just staying home to read and draw...everyone is starting to get bugged out on my not wanting to hang out...oh well to that as well. my little sis and her stupid ass boyfriend are driving my nuts...she is on this mission to get me to like him. I can tell you right now that is a snowballs chance in hell on that...and now hes over all the time trying to talk to me or say hi or whatever. telling his friends how cool he thinks I am and blah blah blah...what he should be doing is staying the hell away from me...he has caused our family so much drama I just want to kick the living crap out of him and now he has my little short stack(sara) brain washed...trust me you would not like him either...and then theres malia...things are bad..really really really bad...its me..I know its me...but for some reason I just cannot get out of this funk...I know I know...fix it right..fix what! I don't know whats broken... grrrr..oh well

-make sure the juice is worth the squeeze-

...

2004-10-25T11:22:50Z

I did nothing at all today..went to dance prac..and I did nothing...I played games..ate doughnuts...and here I am wasting another precious moment of my life typing crap I know no one reads..yay for Ryuu...or Boo..pick one...

-make sure the juice is worth the squeeze-

frick...

2004-10-23T10:59:25Z

okay so we went to see the movie and it was sold out already...what the hell...so after I shot the movie clerk and disposed of the body we went to another movie it was okay...the book was better..and for all of you who do not read..please do me a favor..read a damn book...because all it can do is make you smater..and trust me on that..it would help...until the next time batman lovers..-side note- who the hell still watches batman..he was not that smart..and her wore black panties on the out side of his clothes..geez...-

-make sure the juice is worth the squeeze-

my life not yours..

2004-10-23T06:34:29Z

off to watch a movie ...it better not suck or the person if front of me will pay the price of my leg kicking the chair in abuse of bad film making...plus the ever funny popcorn tossing. besides that nothign else will happen..oh yeah..girls suck..mmmwwwhahahahaahah

-make sure the jucie is worth the squeeze-

the return of the broken hearted robot...

2004-10-14T13:52:39Z

before I say anthing...myspace.com is like drugs...I am so hooked its pathetic..anyway...things are okay..but I still cannot stop thinking about that girl I was with over the summer..I see her more and more..and its driving me nuts. she is with someone else and I need to respect that, but I keep hearing that friggin line from "girl next store" -make sure the juice is worth the squeze-...and it is..I so know it is...I totally lied to jill when she asked me if anything was wrong(shes like my best friend) and I totally lied to malia about this rut that I am in with her(gf) what the hell is wrong with me...why does this girl creep into my head so...I just never know what the hell is going on anymore...I have not slept in two damn days because I have her on my mind...what the hell is wrong!!! I finally decided how to live my life and now there to much to live in...I cannot have it all one way..or my way to be exact...shit...why did I lie to jill..I'm such an asshole..and for malia..I'm an even bigger asshole...nvognrngnervnrengrehgorehgre I'm a wreck...I keep thinking of this girl..over and over and over...oh god..it makes me sick..I almost want to say the "L" word...I'm a screw..yay for me. someone please kill me now...right this very second...please..

-make sure the juice is worth the squeeze-

I'm back..yipee...

2004-10-13T01:40:37Z

I have not posted anything for a bit....and I must say..no biggie..except for talking to all of the five people I know on livejournal...lets see..not much is going on...I have been pretty busy...work blows...little pay alot of hours..but thats the breaks when it comes to books. This on the relationship level are screwed...lets just say -make sure the juice is worth the squeeze- and it was and I did not squeeze...I let go. once again another bad choice made by me...but on the other hand...I have lost like 10 pounds which is frigging awesome because I am fat..(slaps the belly and times it to see how long it will jiggly).....still going........still yet.....aww there..not as long as it use to be. one would think at my age life would be easier...school is done...I don't mind my job as long as I don't have to go..bleh...and I live in hawaii...what a bunch of crap..I need to move back to california...I so do not like it here anymore...yet..I have so much holding me here...I have a family and little sis to look after(hanai family duh) there the greatest..thats why it breaks my heart that I want to leave.

-make sure the juice is worth the squeeze-

grrrrr...

2004-09-27T02:06:41Z

ok...so its another day in the world of Ryuu and today had a not to bad start...then sara woke up and ruined it all. For those of you who do not know that is my -Hanai Sister- for those of you who do not know what that is...well its just people that are so close you consider them blood. She falls in the role of my little sister...everyone knows this and basically calls me her brother or refers to me as "saras older brother" whatever..she is know going out with this guy I cannot stand at all. He a fricken punk ass bastard. I want to beat his head in and its coming real close. He has ruined her reputation...broken her heart..disrespected the parents and the list goes on...the little crap even tried to pick a fight with me which ended up with me punching him in the face which caused heavy bleeding. I have never hated someone so much in my life...I hate this kid more than I hate nazi's...and trust me..I really really hate nazi's. He lies to her face all the time...but I am at a crossed road..shes not the little girl I have watched grow up...she is at that point in life where she can make her own choice..and also have to pay the price for bad one...she hates how much of a rift it has caused between us...and so do I...but I cannot have that shithead in my life. I have no respect for him as a man, human being, or the piece of flesh sucking up the good air which is needed for better people than him...I have patience but if that little creep thinks he can just doing whatever the hell he wants in my life...boy..well..thats how people get hurt..and with me...thats how they get hurt bad..

toure808 @ 2004-09-24T16:03:00

2004-09-25T02:03:39Z

it is hot....um...thats about it for today

random thoughts of the past...now present.

2004-09-15T09:46:59Z

look at me and see the hollow parts of pride
take apart my flesh and you will see nothing but fear
you will smell the sorrow of broken heart
and taste the bitterness of pain and anger.

these are the things she said she felt when standing next to me
maybe that is why I was drawn to her
or that I thought she could bring back the soul I know I had lost so many years ago.

I found myself standing in the rain
wondering how many times I would repeat this mistake
keep to your own is what radiates in my head
follow your heart is what makes me clench my chest

I see her shadow fade and hear her foot steps fade away
from the pounding of my now broken heart.

random

2004-09-15T04:52:52Z

okay okay so its been some time since I've kept a steady pace on my live journal. ummm..knowing me this will not last long. things have kinda come to a grinding halt. its like you start to make progress and crap always comes up or its something new...bleh..kristie I'm glad to hear your grandma is okay...kai..your so cute when it comes to girls..you know even thou were like the same age your still like a little brother to me. as for me. its been work work work work work...sucks. Heart statis...is...broken...oh my gosh.I started working out on my own free will...and well...lets just hope it works. ummm ummm ummm....I bought a new car. well its not new but its new to me. thinking about taking out my lip ring...maybe I've finally gotten to old for this kind of thing...and blah blah blah blah blah blah...my life is boring...surfs up..I'm outta here.

Ryuu....the slant eyed one...

crap...

2004-09-14T02:14:10Z

ok I think this entry only one person will know what I am talking about and that would be kaizo or Kai as some of you may call him...(I find it so weird sometimes that other people know kai that I know have never had the chance to meet him before) as I who have known him for ..crap way to long and I talk to him less than those online..sorry kai I have to be a better friend. I have made a huge mistake...KAI! I have done a you and brandon. you had the beloved and bran had beau..and now its my turn..who the hell would have thought...lets say its so bad...that I actually went to church..ME!...I actually went to church on my own free will..no gun was involved...man...things suck...really really really bad....

toure808 @ 2004-08-09T16:11:00

2004-08-10T02:21:14Z

who knows why things are the way they are....why the things we write for ourselves are always better written or said then what we tell others. How you can become a family with no blood and lose them because of it. How broken hearts always heal and some never do. Sometimes the regret we have is something to drive us to become better and for others it is the motion of always looking over our shoulder to see if he or she might actually walk by again. Love hurts and is most of the time blind. Revenge is never the answer until it happens to you and then you swear to get them back under your breath but never do. How you know you will spend the rest of your life with someone. Losing someone is always that wall you never truly tear down. How some can never let go of those who have passed on and how some of us never can and torture ourselves because of it. So much I could just ramble on about and I don't even know why. I went to school to become a better writer and an artist. I now do neither and find myself knowing that I never had the drive nor the talent to do either. Why am I taking myself....where is it I want to go or what must I find to make myself whole. when you think about it...we live our entire lives to make a future, but when it comes down to it...we just end up dying and becoming the past any way. Live for today...bleh....horse crap.. how about just live...not for the day or for someone else...just live the end. Cound we do it without adding an extra piece of title ot it..."JUST LIVE" man am I dumb..how do I come up with this crap...

it would seem...

2004-08-02T14:53:10Z

that I am not suppose to have a normal relationship. Or maybe one at all...she was not who she made herself out to be and she made me think that who I am was what she wanted. I was just a game or a toy to put it better. Someone once told me that people are like stars. We are all wonderful....but then I started thinking. Some stars are brighter than others some even have names or have the job of being part of the big dipper which means some are closer than others blah blah....what I mean is that no matter how close they seem to each other...they are sooooo far apart...but what about that star..thats not next to you...that bright shiny star that so many rows of stars away in another part of the sky...why can't I be a part of or at least near it. then I realized some stars die and fade never to be noticed, never to be seen or never to be counted or wished upon...and as the today has ended she made me realize I am one of those stars...why did she say those things...why did she steal a kiss from me....now I am nothing more thatn a stupid toy. something to make her feel better. and that is the truth to the whole matter of it all. I am made to be used or better yet....to be taken advantage of ....I just want basic...I want the problems the fights ..the making up...the making things better...it won't be perfect. there is no such thing..but at least give me something that like me for me....I know it is hard to like someone like me...but there has to be someone out there right? right?....oh god I said it twice...I should go...I hate this

I hate it...

2004-07-07T01:48:06Z

this whole thing with malia is stressing me out...things are so confused and time is running short. Does she like me..hmmm..I don't know..do I like her..frick!!..more and more as the days pass....we kissed last night it was so not planned it just happened....ugh...we were just talk and before I knew it we were kissing....what the hell...but shes still cofused about luke...(thats her ex) what ever...he treats her like trash..he sleeps around and she still lets him try and weasel his way in.....god..I forgot how kisses can be....how the sound around you can just go silent no matter what is going on around you....the even thou your eyes are closed you can still see with your heart. the grazing of skin and movement of hand..................................................ok I'll stop..sorry that was way to much info....why are girls soooo....ugh..neato..they make you do the crazy thing.....christie where are you....your suppose to help me.....*tear*

details

2004-06-21T20:38:26Z

hmm...thats hard to say....your all going to laugh at this...she is an inch taller than me...because I laughed my ass off on that...I'll post a picture...so don't worry...Ill give the task to kaizo... for those of you who don't know he handles all my computer needs...yay for kai things are at that new stage...you know! trying to feel it out..the looks...the "accidental touch and bumps" the "oh I"m sorry" when your hands touch...I think I actuall blushed...do Ryuu's blush? hmm..I'll have to look that up...its odd for so long I thought it would just me chasing after this uncatchable girl forever...but now... *snort* I think this has brought me to a point were Jill helped me learn that if it doesn't work out its okay... I think thats why with malia things feel so unreal... I'm not worried...the only thing I don't like is shes on this hell bent quest to make me eat better ( for those of you who don't know I don't eat fruits or veggies-yes none at ..ever..never ever never ever) until yesterday I had a strawberry a salad and a papaya-spell check the last one...she insist I eat watermelon but then complains hawaii has no good water melon.."northen cali has the best water melon...trust me" how the hell would I know I don't even know what a water melon tastes like...well I should go...please wrtie me..I know I have been gone for so long..sorry...but I didn't forget you ....

I would like to give a rock ass shout out to christie because she thinks I mock her everytime I say shes the coolest person I know online..and she is...so this is my official statement saying that I Ryuu think christie is the coolest person on line...

xoxoxo

Ryuu

we live to read - gustav

toure808 @ 2004-06-20T16:34:00

2004-06-21T02:40:27Z

I met someone. can you frigin believe it... she has me in such a frenzy its odd... someone of the old feelings I had for someone still are there..but I think they always will be there..shes just special and will be a permenant in my life. Jill you rock ..remember that. You and I will be friends forever...yay...life seems oddly giddy...hmm..maybe I should use another word besides giddy...that doesnt really sound like me. oh well I just wanted to talk to people but todays fathers day...and everyone is most likely doing fathers day stuff.....well talk to you all later...yay.....oh and kai...if you read this... your still the coolest skinny guy I know..

Love, art, poetry, passion...

RyuuKyuu...

"we live to read" - gustav

tada!

2004-05-23T21:14:13Z

I'm alive and still grumpy...any question..please leave a name and number and I'll think about your worth to me and if I should spend moments of my very precious time to talk to you...mmmmwwwwhhhhhaaaaahahahahahahah...

Ryucifer!!!!!! *evil grin* -.- so says the slanted eyed devil.....feel my yellow asian fury....

talking..

2004-04-25T01:18:25Z

well here I am making another very Zorro entry...things are good....thanks for all the emails from everyone..sorry that I have been so ...um..like not around..but I intend to try and change that..I miss all of you so much...yes..I said something nice...so shoot me it does happen once and awhile..okay well I must be off...talk to all of you soon..

"if you smile for seven days that makes a week"...who said that!!..I bet no one figures it out..ehehehehehe

updates ...and what not.

2004-04-03T02:59:01Z

I'm alive what more do you need to know...oh! you want info...fine fine fine.. its that time for me to make choices and sort things out and deal with...*sigh* demons of the past. Oh...bleh..and deal with the fact that I'm still in love with her...hahaha..I find myself laughing more so now that I'm come to terms I'm in love with someone who I can't have nor feels the same for me. oh well, what you gonna do right! pfft...well I gotta go...I have some art projects that need attended to and a book to finish and a sunset to watch...oh and kai! dude where the hell is my copy of that picture of me you posted on you lj...I want one! peace out daddy O!

............... he was like the sun...thou he faded he left an impression on my soul.

thanks..

2004-03-06T22:02:31Z

for those of you who missed me and wrote to me while I was gone...which was like a whole two of you..but hey...better than none right..well I'm back..but I still won't be online for a bit...so if you write it might take me awhile to respond..take it easy